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SCHOOL JOKES

But why, Mom? Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!" Q: A student is stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a teacher. He has a gun with just two bullets in it. What does he do? A: He shoots the teacher twice to make sure he's dead. Perfect Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Student: 4 Teacher: That's good Student: Good!?! ...That's perfect! I don't feel well Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not? Son: I don't feel well. Father: Where don't you feel well? Son: In the school! Q: What's the difference between an Canadian student and a Macedonian student? A: More than 10000 kilometres! Written excuses The following are some classic written excuses given to teachers in the Alburquerque public school system: "Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33." "Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor." "Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part." "My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines." "Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night." "George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach." "Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals." "I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear."

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