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A taliban and Uncle Sam
Two guys, a taliban soldier and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish" says the Genie.
The taliban said: "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (a former civil engineer), asks: "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains: "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out."
Uncle Sam says: "Fill it with water."
Obama got a coded message from Iran. It read: 370HSSV-0773H.
Obama was stumped and sent for the CIA. The CIA was stumped too, so it went to the NSA. The NSA couldn't solve it either, so they asked Bill Clinton. He suggested turning it upside down!
A beautiful banner
Osama Bin Laden phoned President Bush and said: "Mr. President, I called you because I had this incredible dream last night. I could see all of America, and it was beautiful, and on top of every building, there was a beautiful banner."
Bush asked angrily: "And what was on the banner?"
Osama responded: "It said Allah is God, and God is Allah."
Bush said: "You know, Binny, I'm really glad you called, because last night I had a dream too. I could see all of Kabul, and it was even more beautiful than before the Russian occupation. It had been completely rebuilt, and on every building there was also a beautiful banner."
Bin Laden said: "What was on the banner?"
Bush replied: "I really don't know. I don't read Hebrew."
WARNING: Don't go to the bathroom on May 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who goes #2 on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.
I usually don't write jokes like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that we are going to be attacked.
Iraqi fighter pilots
Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
You only have to teach them to take off.
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